Ah, Pieces. Despite not bringing any scares to the table, this is everything I look for in a slasher. It is ridiculous, has buckets of boobs and blood and a truly biazarre ending. It is so very strange and I don't think that is because things were lost in translation.

Acclaimed horror reviewer Chas Balun has a great essay about Pieces included in the dvd. I was unable to find it online and I'm too lazy to type it out, so you'll just have to take my word for it that he says it all better than I'm about to.

I had a draft written out that was lost in a computer crash. Since I'm already so late posting this (and lazy) I'm just going to go over the notes I took. Here goes:

The opening title looks an awful lot like the one from Eli Roth's Thanksgiving. That's no surprise since I belive this is his favorite slasher movie, too.

Like Sleepaway Camp, we are treated to a creepy mom right off the bat. That is a sweet puzzle. I might be tempted to ax my mom, too, if she threw away a puzzle like that of mine.

Could anyone figure out why the girl riding her skateboard through the mirror being carried across the street led to a flashback?

I didn't know that there's nothing better in the world than smoking pot and fucking on a water bed, but it definitely seems plausible.

The first kill of the girl in the park is fun thanks to the bad head rolling effect followed by the fountain of blood.

Why does the dean say Willard so funny? Will-ard. Will-ard. Too bad he didn't have that chainsaw when he was trying to fight Popeye.

The swimming pool kill is even more ridiculous. How do you incapacitate a girl using a teeny pool net? A few moments in the net has this girl knocked out. Oh well, at least it gave us a better opportunity to see her boobs and gave the killer a better opportunity to cut her head off.

Now lets talk about the bloody chainsaw left at the scene of the pool kill. Oh Willard, don't you know you shouldn't pick up bloody weapons you see lying next to dismembered bodies? Speaking of the bloody chainsaw, its a good thing the cops had a professor on hand to ask if he thought it could possibly be the murder weapon.

Good old, Mary Riggs. It makes perfect sense that a famous tennis champion would have a day job as a police woman and be the ideal candidate for undercover work. Too bad they cast someone that looks as though they had never swung a racket prior to filming the tennis scene.

If you don't notice the person getting into the elevator with you has a chainsaw under their coat then maybe you deserve to have your arm cut off like it was made of warm butter.

Here it is, my favorite scene in the movie. Mary is walking down a dark alley (is this her "being undercover?" Is she trying to lure out the killer) and gets her ass kicked by a king fu guy. It turns out he's not a bad guy, just a king fu professor who ate some bad chop suey. That last sentence could benefit from some more quotation marks. In addition to all that brilliance, this scene also has the motorcycle engine/chainsaw fake out.

The waterbed kill is great, even if it was telegraphed earlier. The amazing final stab goes through the back of her head and comes out her mouth. I want a knife like that the next time I need to cut some vegetables for dinner.

Its sad when the tennis girl pisses herself in the shower. My first thought was that I'm surprised she didn't take care of that in the shower like I do. In doing some research, however, i read that the director used real chansaws throughout the film and in that particular scene the saw got too close and the girl really did pee herself with fear. That seems hard to believe, but if its true, its awesome.

BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! That part is so good the chapter on the dvd is called...you guessed it- BASTARD!!!

And now, the ending-
I don't profess to have any idea how a bunch of parts sewn together to make a body can suddenly come to life and rip someone's dick off through his jeans but I do know I think it's among the most amazing things I've ever seen in a film.

So, what did you think? Did you have as much fun with Pieces as I did?

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The means it's all ok.

I'm about half way through the film. Equally as ridiculous as Sleepaway camp, but far less difficult to watch. I started it way too late and dozed off. More comments to follow.

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Haaaaeeeey!

I found a bit on my notes I forgot to add, if you count the puzzle and the dead body you get 6 naked girls plus a penis for the ladies (or the guys. who am I to judge?)

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The means it's all ok.

these were my contemporaneous notes right after we watched (there might have been some alcohol involved....) I will say that after this double feature, Mr. B is much more inclined to watched FW homework with me (just watch, L&GtFS he'll probably hate and will destroy all my amassed goodwill ) So am I right in assuming that this was the movie where Lynda Day met Christopher George and thereby became Lynda Day George?

this is bonkers. Morton Landeau is cracking me up. Of COURSE we enlist the random college student to be part of the police investigation. (and of course even though he seems incredibly nerdy, he’s the campus cocksman. Although I never object to a bit of male full frontal, yay for equal opportunity.) And of course the press doesn’t know some student was beheaded with a chainsaw, and believe that it was just a “tragic accident.” Random unnamed cop with terrible toupee. Dance class girls—only have one routine, no matter what the music is. Definitely 80s, check out the leg warmers. My Kung Fu Professor? "Here at State University, we’re proud of our Kung Fu degree program." Seriously? I work at huge state Univ and we don’t even have a phy ed major, much less a Kung Fung degree program. Of course, bad chop suey makes you nuts. And just WHAT is the deal when the dead, stitched together corpse manages to spring back to life just to rip off his dick—what, some lifelong secret dream to be a hermaphrodite? Incredibly bad acting—although I kind of heart LDG’s eyeball acting in her penultimate scene, when she’s all but rolling her orbs across the carpet to say there’s someone behind the arras!!!

I was talking to a friend of mine about my FW homework in watching this movie, and he offered to buy me the one-sheet for it—the tag line is totally fuck-you in your face. “It’s exactly what you think it is.”

Thanks A2--this is a movie I never would hvae found on my own, but it was big fun.

I am so happy you (and Mr B) enjoyed it. I've been nervous about how these movies would be received.

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The means it's all ok.

First of A2, thanking you taking me upon a trip that I would not have entertained other wise.

SPOILERS BELOW

A professional detetive deputizes a college fresman/sophmore to assist in the case. Yeah that happens all of the time.

Favorite scene the tennis player with the weak bladder. They actauly chopped through the side of a pig or a cadavar.

Worst scene the closing corpse attack. Really?

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Say hello to the Scream Extractor.

Rewatching this now, I have some added thoughts.
Mom was far easier to deal with here than in SC; the one that annoys me most is the dean, with the anatomy prof coming in a close second. His specific field made for easy fnar fnar opportunity from the students (comparing anatomy) and I was totally bummed that they didn't take the bait.
Kills are total cheese, perfect for this type of flick.
The background sax striptease music was awesome during the first part of the pool scene.
Kid thought "something was off" when invited to the pool to "do it underwater" with some hot chick? He's in on it or gay, right? I mean really?
Why does this student get to give orders to campus security?
The editing in this film is horribly funny. The voice tracks for half the cast are out of sync, poorly dubbed, or both.
The dirt bike chainsaw scare was classic. Why does the Kung Fu professor randomly attack the super spy tennis cop, and why does she kick his ass so easily? Drop that class dude.
...okay I get it. Killer only puts together the parts of the puzzle he has hacked off pieces for.
I'm not complaining, but who ever showers with the curtain open? Low budget camera angles... Love it.
Holy shit! Someone swapped Willard's keys without him knowing!
BASTARD!!! Hahaha
To hell with the book...too cliche even for this flick.
Glass doors dividing the kitchen? Who designs this stuff??
Of course the cops leave them alone...and why would he turn around last minute if he didn't see the curtain moving or hear that lame panting? College gigalo turned popo shoulda got the chef knife thru his back!
All the women he fooled around with (a composition of anyway) grabbed his junk one last time.
thanks A² for a campy slasherfest. You definitely saved the best for last.

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Haaaaeeeey!

Enjoyed this overall. The right amount of cheese, and some wonderfully ridiculous kills - maybe you should jump back in the water, and see if he can swim with a chainsaw? And I'm not staying on an elevator with anybody carrying a chainsaw, especially when there have been multiple killings.

The final scene was a shock, but too far out of context from everything else in the film. Those last second jump scenes have been done better in other films - Carrie comes to mind.

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Pieces was exactly the type of movie I was expecting when I asked for a A² marathon. I'll chime in with my thoughts in a bit. And remind me to comment on Sleepaway Camp as well...

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Winter is coming...

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The means it's all ok.

Hey Middle, Comment on Sleepaway Camp. And remind me to comment on Pieces as well...

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Will do, but I only just came home from vacation...

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Winter is coming...

Hey Bratzks, tell us your thoughts on Pieces.

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The means it's all ok.

Well, Pieces. Where to start? The setup is ridiculous, of course. Threaten to burn a kid's nudie jigsaw, and he automatically turns into a psychopathic axe/chainsaw murderer. Right.
On the other hand, his mom may be the cause of some troubles. She doesn't seem like the most stable person either. Or that could just be terrible acting. Either way, nice start.
Then the murderer instincts somehow get triggered by a talentless skateboarding chick, who collides with a mirror. Of course. Then after the first murder victim get horribly (and laughably) decapitated with a chainsaw, it's best to keep a lid on everything. And I don't think it was a surprise for most people to suspect 'The Dean' as the murderer, despite best efforts to try and put focus on Willard (who loves his chainsaw) and awkward Dr. Brown.
Oh, then campus stud Kendall enters the scene. The first thing we see him do is basically ignore a random hot blonde's proposal to fuck in the pool. Yeah, because that's what everyone else would do in his position.
Of course, the poor girl gets carved up really well after nearly being choked by a flimsy net. All while being conveniently topless. Classic material.
Hell, I could go on and on, but there's a top three of classic scenes waiting after this. They have all been named before, but let me just point them out again:
3. The girl with the stupid dance routine not noticing a 3 foot chainsaw blade behind an awkwardly dressed dean.
2. Bad Chop Suey (fucking hilarious, random and racist)
1. Bastard! Bastard! BASTARD!

There is so much to say here, but the only thing I really still need to discuss is the ending. I mean, what.the.fuck? Where did that suddenly come from? How did that fit into the rest of the movie? Is it a setup for a sequel? I was just completely struck with awe after it.

Anyway, this was a great example of schlock, that I wouldn't have encountered if I hadn't been pointed to it. Too bad there's no MST3K/Rifftrax available for this movie. I guess that would be the only way to further enhance the experience. Thank you, A²!

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Winter is coming...

Oh, one final thought. Did anyone else find the campus strangely void of any students? Was the college that bad, or that exclusive?

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Winter is coming...

The phrase "awesomely bad" comes to mind. Awesomely bad acting, awesomely bad plot, awesomely bad FX. I had a great time watching it.

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Well, I finally got around to watching Pieces.




Both had crashing mirrors. Maybe it was an (failed) effort to legitimize the two-people-carrying-a-mirror-that's-gonna-get-run-through gag.





" "

Few scenes have been so greatly telegraphed in cinematic history.

Whereas I felt that it ruined the otherwise wholly untainted believability of the film.

Exactly.

Wikipedia says that they married in 1970. (Pieces was '82.) Though IMDb does seem to say that she was always credited as Lynda Day George after 1971 (presumably some of the '71 stuff was under contracts made before she was married ... or something), save one movie: Pieces. And then as Linda Day. Odd. It must be a clue.

Well, that saves me a lot of writing.






I couldn't believe that Prof. Brown being described as the "head of the anatomy department" would be topped ... but then we met the man behind the university's kung fu program!

Why are the cops (in particular Lt. Bracken) so convinced that it's not one of the kids, in particular that it's not Kendall? When Bracken is telling Mary that Kendall will essentially be her partner/backup/whatever, we hear:

("Him" being "Kendall.")

The dubbing was just weird. And watch it with (English) subtitles—half the time they don't match the audio. And not just little words. Near the end, Sgt. Holden suggests that Kendall get to bed (after the Dean has been killed), but the subtitle has Holden suggesting that Kendall get some coffee. Earlier, Willard explains (in audio) that the sirens are controlled "elsewhere" (or "somewhere else" or something like that), while the subtitles note that the sirens are controlled in the dean's office. (Which they appear not be.)

I'm always at least a bit confused with films like these—they (prod./dir./screenwriter(s)/actors) must know how cheesy the plot, the dialogue, and the acting is ... but a lot of the actors are also just crappy.

It doesn't seem fair to grade this like most other movies, as it's more or less a movie. But I got at least of enjoyment out of it (and I like to hope that the film's creators intended it that way—laughing at instead of laughing with and all that).

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It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.